“Don’t think about what hurts you, think about something nice”
“Do not remember the wounds of the past, that hurts”
“Look forward, what hurt already happened, now to focus on the present”
These are the typical phrases of many people when we talk about past hurts and pain. Even a meditation instructor in a class told me why was I trying to connect with past lives? If they had already happened, that I shouldn’t be focusing on that as I should have been focusing in the present moment.
I agree that being in the present, being mindful is the healthiest state for our minds, However, how can we be in the present without thinking about what hurts us? How do we stop bringing those unconscious thoughts into our present if we are constantly projecting our past hurts into the now? In the people with whom we interact daily?
Simply by remembering that pain, feeling it and then expressing it.
We forgot how to express pain when we were children, remember? If you don’t remember, watch a mother say to her son “don’t cry” “that’s it” “it’s over” “forget it, it was nothing” “you throw a tantrum for nothing”, “it’s not that bad”. And there, right there they teach us not to express pain, rage, anger, and there. Right there, we begin to endure, to keep the pain, to accumulate it, to repress it and it will stay there for years and sometimes for a whole life, but affecting us, making relationships difficult, projecting ourselves into everything we want to achieve or undertake. Because pain is not just pain, pain builds beliefs, many limiting beliefs about ourselves, and those beliefs block us, they generate conflicts in various aspects of life, whether in the work environment, in personal relationships or in goals that we want to reach.
And there it remains, the pain remains still, hidden but latent, very latent.
So … how to get rid of that pain? Learning to express it again, the expression of pain is a wonderful tool, simple but very powerful, becoming children again, having a “tantrum” that is why it hurt, although it happened a long time ago, although we believe that it no longer hurts, but it hurts … yes it hurts, and you know it when you remember it.
Express yourself, express that pain, remember, relive, have your tantrum, say what you felt at that moment, write it down, yell at it, hit a pillow, but express it !!
Let Go! Release the Pain and free yourself! Your Present will light up ..
Until next time